Saturday, September 30, 2006

Dear sir,

I know my agent name is The Backdoor Bandit, but I'm good at a lot of other things too.  Like the front door.

That's what I've been watching for the last four days (and his side door, through the bathroom window, at his office too) and this Michael Williams punk like somehow magically transports from one place to the next.  I've had enough.  I know I should have started off on the right foot and bought everyone drinks when I picked up my dossier, but I had just gotten off a plane and... well... I'll make up for it, if you can do me the favor of passing along a little bit of scheduling info.

I mean, the bribe possibilities are endless.  What do you want?  You got it... anything.  And, if you can hook me up with a check-in, I mean annnnnything.

I know you're a mad pimp and wouldn't need it, but I know this hooker that's only sixty dollars for two hours.

But seriously folks, I've found myself goin' at the tequila pretty hard since I got into this whole bandit mode, so how about I treat you and one of your harem "friends" to dinner and margaritas at one of my favorite gourmet Mexican restaurants.  Wait a sec, that sounds like it could get expensive.  Actually, nevermind, it will be cool - how many Chipotle margaritas could two people drink?

Love,
The Backdoor Bandit


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